120 hours

Finished~

I know I kind of lost the blogging momentum, but really all the days blend into each other (a side effect of living in Alaska and being over 30 I think).

Overall, it was good!  Today was the first day I felt actual hunger pangs, and that was after a 5 mile hike (easy, not a lot of elevation) and as I was heading to the store to get my break meal.

I read the best thing to break an extended fast is veggies, particularly a green salad (spinach and cucumber in my case with a little bit of walnut oil), roasted broccoli (because my steamer done vanished), and baked sweet potato (I only ate about a third of it).  No butter, a little salt, and everything tasted GREAT! 

Health wise, all is good.  My skin looks awesome, I'm not bloated, my energy is solid, and I'm cruising ever closer to my HealthyWage goal weight.  Just a week and a half to go with that, then a two week window to weigh out.  Not only do I believe I'll make it, I KNOW I will.  

I'm so glad I did this.  It gave me a chance to body cleanse, mind cleanse, confirm the power of will, and that I am always in control of my actions.  I think I have a healthier view and appreciation of food, that I hope follows me throughout my life.  I can also see myself doing an extended fast 2-4 times a year. 

Day 0 - Day 5 (wish I was wearing the same pair of pants but oh well)

                                  

48 hours

This marks the longest I've fasted thus far.  I'm not sure if it's mind over matter or proper preparation or 'practice' but so far I feel fine.  No shakes or jitters, no fatigue.  Honestly I'm not even really hungry.

Exercise-wise:  Sun was out so I made use of that and was able to walk 5 miles today (no flooding or tree maintenance to get in the way this time~).  This is pretty normal for me, and I was happy to get the extra steps I didn't get yesterday.  Tomorrow I plan on doing some light strength training as well, and some yoga. 

Overall I feel good.  Drinking lots of water, no lightheadedness to speak of, and hunger pangs are quickly passed.  Stomach will rumble but nothing debilitating or overly distracting. 

I've downloaded an app called Zero that will countdown a fast (I started mine at hour 41, so it's not as "impressive" as it would be if I'd started at the beginning, but c'est la vie).  I'm interested in checking out some others as well, see which ones encourage and support, as well as maybe make it a bit more interesting/rewarding.  Maybe someday I'll figure out how to make my own~

24 Hours

24 hours:

Woke up with a headache :(  Since I'm not eating anything I didn't want to take ibuprofen, so it was water and water and water, and when that didn't help I added in a shot of electrolyte and vitamin B MiO to an 18 oz bottle.  I don't think the headache actually has anything to do with the fasting, since it started way before any kind of hunger hit, but regardless, it seems to have abated since drinking the electrolyte infused water.  Good to know. 

Exercise wise - I took an easy 3.75 mile walk, taking it slow (still had the headache at this point), and just enjoyed being outside in the fall air (Hap' Fall Y'all!). 

Hunger wise - stomach has been rumbling a bit, but overall it's not bad.  It likely helps that I've been doing IF pretty steadily for about 8 months, and have experienced 24-42 hour fasts at least biweekly for the past 2 months or so.  In my research it came up more than a few times that the second day is the toughest, so I have some plans to distract myself tomorrow, which might include clothes shopping and virtual farming.  We all have our vices. 

So yeah, first 24 hours, easy peasy.  I'll check in again at the 48 mark~

Fasting for Five

A few months into doing Keto I started following an intermittent fasting (IF) schedule of 16/8 - 18/6, meaning I would fast for 16-18 hours, and feed 8-6.  Normally it just meant I didn't eat breakfast, lunch at noon, and stopped eating between 6 and 8pm. 

It didn't take long to get used to, and I really like the structure it gave.  No late night snacking, no rushing for breakfast in the morning, and before long I wasn't getting hungry at all until 12 or later. My body adjusted pretty easily to this new eating pattern, and I felt good, less bloated and less hungry.  

Since coming to Anchorage I've been delving a little bit more into longer fasting.  23/1 wasn't unheard of, and I think a lot of us do that unintentionally, getting too busy to eat until dinner.  Doing it on purpose, though, means NO snacking (how many times have we said "I haven't eaten all day!" to then look back and realize there was that handful of m&m's, cheese, granola bar, what have you) and being mindful of starting and stopping dinner, not just eating like a monster because you haven't all day and feel justified in compensating (again, super guilty of that, too). 

I've completed a 42 hour fast twice this summer, both intentional, and the second time I felt like I could continue with it, but was going to be doing a lot of physical activity with hiking, so fooding commenced.  

Day 0 - 9/22

Now I've researched, made sure there are no excuses, and am looking to complete a 5 day fast.  I'm legit excited to complete the challenge and see how I feel.  I anticipate it will jumpstart the weight loss again, get me into ketosis (to stay there until the end of my challenge at the very least), and give me a sense of control that I will need to complete and win this year-long challenge (and recoup my $1200 and then some~). 

To prepare I ate 2000 calories between 11:30 and 5:30 today, focusing on proteins and fats.  I also did a circuit workout and got in about 17,000 steps (9 miles).  I don't plan on doing a lot of heavy exercising over the week, but would like to continue with getting at least 10k steps a day. 

Sooooo here we go!  Starting photo, no filter, game face on!

After 6 months on Keto

I've been pretty faithfully living the keto lifestyle for the past 6 months, and am pleased with how it's going.  

Left: Brunch with the girls in September. Right: Selfie in the classroom in May

I feel energized, I feel happy, I am going to need to do some clothes shopping when I get back to Anchorage which is always kind of annoying but also the kind of problem you want to have in this instance.  

I also found out, taking this lil quiz here, that I am an Upholder, which is why I can stick to things like Whole 30 and Keto.  It was a neat little insight into why I can do stuff like this, and how it's both awesome and detrimental (ie, I miss out on things because I am too strict with myself). 

I also want to take a second to talk about HealthyWage, which is a big component in my current success and steadfast attitude.  Putting money on the line with the possibility of winning 2-3x as much back is a big motivator for me.  I went big specifically to keep it on my mind, and keep me pushing forward, no excuses. 

But of course there are excuses!  I was in my friends' wedding, and I went to DisneyWorld for a week, and for sure didn't limit myself to only a keto lifestyle during those times.  But I was more mindful of what I was eating and how it was affecting me, and the moment I got home I went right back to my normal keto eating routine.  What was neat was I saw the put-on weight drop quickly, and often went past where I had been previously.  I know I can't do this all the time, but I think about once a month having a "refeed" day (or extended weekend) really works for me, as long as I immediately get back to it~

I'm excited and a little anxious about getting to Anchorage (ONE WEEK!).  On the one hand, I CAN WALK/JOG OUTSIDE!!!  And go to a legit gym! And eat fresh food!  But I also can go to many restaurants, and buy ice cream that's not $11 a half gallon, and have regular drinks with friends.  So I guess this will be the balance test.  How do you live a life that's fulfilling for all sides: physically, emotionally, and socially healthy?  Guess I'm gonna find out!  Because I am GOING to win that money back and not lose all my friends in the process!

Keeping up with Keto

So, long time no update.  Christmas has come and gone, which is honestly a bit of a relief.  Christmas, while definitely one of the favorite and most fun holidays in many ways, is also one of the most food heavy.  There's always an excuse to indulge, and eventually overindulge, because 'Christmas comes but once a year~'.  I definitely fell in with the overindulgent category.  Before Christmas I had been on Keto for 22 days and had lost as many pounds.  And during my feast-fest I put on 12.  That's... a lot.  in 4 days, that's more than half of what I lost in 22 days.  A nice eye opener for me.

So now I'm back in Barrow, fridge and cupboards properly stocked.  I'm still having issues with making time to cook and not just going for the ready-made Keto friendly snacks (which you've got to watch anyway because it's so easy to overdo it), but today I finally got something done.

Look who used her zucchini before it went bad!

And it was DELICIOUS. 

It was nice to cook something I never had, with ingredients I don't normally use (hello shrimpies), and have it turn out super good.  Gives me that ego boost I need to feel indomitable.  Also it feeds me and makes me happy.

The good news is I am less than a pound away from meeting my pre-Christmas weight. And I know it's not about the scale it's about the feel, but it's nice to have something quantifiable to chart and say, hey, look at your progress!  It's working~

The other reason I'm a little more focused on the scale readings is because I am still in the midst of my HealthyWage and REALLY want to recoup my $1,200 and then some next October.  I'm 56 pounds away from my goal, and 100% believe I will make it, so long as I keep positive and focused.  It helps that I have a wedding to look stellar at and a 10k to train for, and no more Christmas excuses (though family reunion is basically Christmas for a week so we'll see...).

So here's to the new year!  I got this!

PS here's my bridesmaid's dress for the wedding in March!!  I love it!

Day 10 - Still Going~

Long time no update, I know!  But a lot has happened.

I went down to Anchorage to check on my house.  Fortunately most things were fine, just a bit of a mess.  Only a couple things I love got broken, and overall it gave me a chance to clean up and clear out the clutter. 

I also was able to successfully stick with my strict Keto.  I'm following the idea of carbs under 25 g, net carbs under 20 g.  I use the LoseIt app (upgraded to premium for a year for $20) where I log everything and track my macros.  I try to keep it at 5% carbs, 75% fat, 20 % protein, and normally fall somewhere within 10% of those ranges, so I think I'm doing okay.

Physically I feel good, I'm not bloated, I have energy, I look forward to getting things done.

Today though, I was hit with a migraine and nausea that had me tossing out the last bit of my lunch and having the lowest key of all dinners (a fathead pizza crust I'd made and frozen last week dipped in Wholly Guacamole and a Babybel cheese - not my finest moment).

What's got me a little more anxious is that I didn't prep anything for lunch tomorrow.  I thawed some reindeer sausages and if I wake up earlier enough can saute up some cabbage and throw on some feta and be fine to get me through til dinner, when I can try out one of the recipes in my queue. 

I had more I wanted to say but the migraine really threw me for a loop.  I don't think it's Keto flu related, probably more to do with barometric pressure or something like that, but tomorrow I'll be drinking a couple propels, just in case.

Just know I'm still going!  I wanted to do 30 days of strict keto to assess how I feel, but that literally takes me right to Christmas, so I may be a little lenient for a few days, but truly plan on getting right back on, assuming it's working for me (but so far, so good!).

Day 5 - Earthquake in Anc

So yesterday was a pretty scary day.  About 720 miles south of me there was a big earthquake, 7.2, with the epicenter just 7 miles away from the city.  And while I was 720 miles away, my friends, my family, and my house were in the middle of it.  I spent the whole morning fretting, wondering how bad the damage was, reaching out to people to make sure they were okay, notifying others to let them know I was okay (because when people in the lower 48 hear something happened in Alaska, they assume it happened to EVERYONE in Alaska, even if we're 720 miles away).

Today I'll be making some meals to take down with me as I head to Anchorage to survey the damage and clean up the mess in my house.  They're still experiencing aftershocks, but the airport was open yesterday so I assume I'll make it in fine. 

I'm nervous about what state I'll find my house in.  My friend went over to check for structural damage, to see if the power and water were still on.  So far it seems like it's just a mess to be cleaned, so hopefully I'll be able to get it handled in a couple of days. 

The good news is most everyone is safe.  Shaken, scared, dealing with a lot, but safe.  It's going to take a long time for my city to heal from this (roads busted up, buildings cracked) but we'll persevere. 

Also Keto is going fine.  Keeping track of my macros, realized I'm not snacking at all besides a Babybel cheese to get me through the afternoon, and am already down 9 pounds.  I know it's mostly waterweight but still it feels good to see the scale going down instead of up.

Day 3 - Learning a Lifestyle

The first round of anything is always hard, because so much brain power is needed to adjust your habits and processes.  And Keto is asking me to look at a lot of information I'd never really thought of before, like the carb content of spices.  Who knew?

But it's good.  regardless of how long I stick with it, I am definitely gaining knowledge and skillsets.

I'm feeling pretty good, no bloating, which I was concerned might happen because of the cheese.  Still so much cheese.  But I'm trying to make sure I get other nutrients too.  I use most of my carb points on veggies, and today actually went just a touch over because the roasted cauliflower I made was just too good.  I've learned that when I roast veggies I need to make just as much as I'm supposed to eat, because I will eat the entire tray.

And on a personal note, I don't think the heat in my Barrow apartment is working, but they did bring me 4 space heaters, and 3 of those work so my place is still able to be kept at a livable temperature.  In most of the rooms.

Didn't cook at all today, but pulled some chicken from the freezer (and tossed some chicken from the freezer as it was freezer burned beyond repair) and will be making this tomorrow, Keto Chicken Club Casserole.  I'm pretty excited to give it a go!  And if it looks nice I'll take a picture~

Day Two - My house is an ice box

Some ups and downs today.  Ate keto, but may have slipped while chowing on some pulled pork.  There wasn't a lot of sauce so I thought I'd be okay, but it's definitely possible I overdid the carbs on just that alone.  It's kind of crazy how many can be in such a small amount.  So I'm erring on the side that, hey, it's Day Two, if I'm gonna screw up better to do it now.

And I still did well all day.  Even when tempted with a nice warm meal in a nice warm house, as I was saved from my ice box by my friend.  The heater's been out for the last few days, a couple of fixes not taking (but it seems to be working this time, fingers crossed!).  Much like Whole30, Keto is going to test my ability to say "no" and politely decline when it's not on plan.  Fortunately I've had good practice with this, and while hard, it's definitely doable for me.

At the end of the day I'm really looking at my health and general well-being.  I have to do this for me.  I'm excited to do this for me.

Going to try some Keto chicken fingers tomorrow, I'll really try to remember to take pictures more!  I know that helps with presentation and motivation~

this feels a bit disjointed but my house is still in the processes of warming up so I'll go ahead and blame it on that.

Day One - Cheese on Cheese

Successfully completed my first day of Keto!  Hurrah! 

I'm so glad I made a couple meals yesterday, and was able to bust another one out today, along with some fat bombs to help me reach my goal of 170 grams.  I was off by about 50 g today, which I'm hearing is pretty normal for just getting started.  I didn't go over my carb goal, which is a huge hurrah in my book.

No sign of the Keto flu yet, but I do drink massive amounts of water every day (generally 160 ounces, today I did 220), and even ponied up and paid $10 for a bottle of Propel and a little thing of Mio lemon.  Hopefully my wonderful Anchorage friends can quick send me some packets so I don't spend my whole paycheck on electrolytes and water~

Overall I'm feeling good.  I'm feeling capable.  I'm recording macros on a couple of apps right now (LoseIt and Lifesum (I tried MyFitnessPal but couldn't get into it)) until I find which one works best for my needs.

I'm also gathering a lot of recipe ideas from The Diet Doctor, by and large simple and easy to make, not a lot of fancy ingredients needed, and of course Pinterest and general internetting. 

I am really going to try to remember to take pictures of my grand creations, and should probably get a starter shot to compare myself to in a month.  Let's do this!!

Keto Mania

After struggling for the last 6 months on trying to get on and stick with an eating plan that is beneficial to my health and fits into my lifestyle, I've decided to give Keto a shot.  I've been up and down about it for a number of reasons, but after reading a bunch and seeing several of my friends get on it, stick with it, and have good results in both their physical and mental well-being, I figured it was worth a solid go. 

So I calculated my macros, checked out a bunch of recipes, did my post-Thanksgiving shopping prep before heading back to the village, and believe I am ready to life the lifestyle. 

I'm hoping to lose the weight I've put on from slipping into old habits and depression eating (it's been a rough year, y'all, but no more excuses!), and see an improvement in my energy and thought processing.  I've heard from several people that after being on Keto for 20 or so days they think clearer and focus easier.  I am so ready for that!

I also took the plunge in October and joined HealthyWage, and have made a hefty bet on myself, and need to give myself the tools needed to make sure I win that bet!

So here we are!  Day one officially starts tomorrow.  I've cleaned all distraction food out of my kitchen, have prepped a couple of different things (beef stroganoff with sautéed cabbage and a very cheesy broccoli bake), and am actually getting a little jazzed to try out some more recipes in the coming days.  I haven't been excited about cooking since probably my 2nd round of Whole30.  I'm hoping Keto reignites that spark. 

I'm a little terrified of falling into the Keto flu, but am hoping I drink enough water and will get enough sodium to bypass it until my body adjusts to its fuel source.  Fingers crossed and bottoms up!!

Also I forgot to take pictures but I'll hopefully get back to that as the blog goes on.  Yay!

Just Let Me Pack My Pic-a-nic Basket~

In my head I figured September to mid October was the perfect time to do Whole30, just the right amount of time between Labor Day and my birthday, no Anchorage temptations to get in the way, controlled village kitchen.  I seem to have forgotten my job calls for travel.  To seven villages.  Preferably all before November.  Whoops.

Normally this wouldn't be an issue in the least - I generally bring all my own food anyway when I do site visits - but making sure I pack enough is always a bit of a worry.  That and the very real chance of getting flight delays and cancellations can wreak havoc on my carefully coordinated meal plans.

So, like underwear, I'll pack a bit extra.  Make a whole other entree to pack into my wonderful insulated picnic basket and my little frog lunch bag which is still just the cutest damn thing.

I ended up spending all of Sunday food prepping - again, not out of the ordinary for my Whole 30 - and made a grand sum of seven different food-stuffs.

1. Hardboiled eggs
2. Salmon patties (to the surprise of literally no one)
3. Buffalo chicken dip
4. Spaghetti squash and meatball casserole
5. Buffalo chicken drumsticks
6. Roasted red pepper and cauliflower soup
7. Ranch dressing

As well as picking up some grapes to throw into a spinach salad with pecans and some olive oil dressing.  

I am thoroughly exhausted, but hopefully also thoroughly prepared for the next few days and then some (popping some of these bad boys in the freezer for next week, when I'll be traveling again.  And then again the next week.  And then-).  

Here's hoping the skies are favorable and get me there and back again in a smooth and fashionable manner!  Atqasuk, here I come!  

Round 3 - FIGHT!

I don't know if this makes me a certified devotee, but I am legitimately excited for my third round of Whole30.  I love how it makes me feel, how my bloat goes away, and, honestly, I love the challenge of it.  Because no matter how 'good' I am at it, it's still a challenge to navigate through your average, everyday life and consistently make good choices.  There are distractions and temptations everywhere, and people with hearts of gold who mean well can destroy your progress in the most loving way possible.

Which is why I bring up my most important and powerful tool in successfully completing a round of Whole 30: the ability to say "no thank you."

Because in the long run, it's easy to say no to yourself while you're shopping, or driving past them Arches, or even pawing through your fridge.  It's much harder when the office darling makes an amaaaazing crumb cake and offers you a slice.  And you have to look that doll baby in the face and say, "Oh, no thank you." OR, conversely, you take the slice, eat it, enjoy it for 5 minutes, then feel guilty about it for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!  Or the next few days, when you decide if you're going to restart or just scrap the whole thing.

I know, it's hard.  And yes, they might be hurt for that brief moment in time.  But ultimately you have to make the best decisions for yourself.  And that means perfecting the art of saying no, and often the art of quickly and concisely explaining what Whole 30 is.  Maybe I should just make up little pamphlets.

Oh no, I am a devotee...

But seriously, it's 30 days.  30 days of saying "yes" to you and "no" to things that would derail your progress.  30 days in your WHOLE life where you take a pass on the crumb cake and hunker down with your breakfast casserole instead.  30 days where you patiently explain to your friends what you're doing and why you're doing it.  30 days.

Let's do this thing.

Eat My Words

This is going to be long, but is basically my Whole30 survival guide, including recipes and must-haves if you're going through the 'program'.

We've got, from left to right, top to bottom: pulled pork sweet potato sliders, enchilada stuffed sweet potato, salmon patties, spaghetti squash buffalo chicken casserole, steak, sweet potato fries, and coleslaw, stuffed pepper with side salad.

Something I love about Whole30 is that, while a restrictive diet, the recipes are really adaptable.  I've enjoyed both following them to the letter and messing around a bit, trying out new spices and vegetables and flavors.  As long as I'm staying on plan and in the spirit everything's game.

1. That being said, the first time I made pulled pork sliders I used cumin in my pork rub and didn't much care for it, and the second time I used apple cider vinegar and was completely in love.  At some point in my life I became a huge fan of vinegar and I have no plans of going back.  Pairing the pulled pork with sweet potato buns, and dressing them with sliced tomato and lettuce or spinach... muah.  I also like to sprinkle my sweet potato's with a bit of salt and paprika before they hit the oven

2. One of the absolute best things I've eaten on Whole30 is the Enchilada Stuffed Sweet Potato.  Holy snap it is so good.  The ground beef (or bison, in my case) is so incredibly flavorful, and then paired with the sweet potato... delish.  I threw a little guacamole on the top and sided with roasted broccoli dusted with nutritional yeast.  Definitely a favorite meal and one I'll make again on or off plan.

3. & 4. I tend to make *Shepard's pie and *salmon cakes at the same time since they both call for sweet potato (are we sensing a theme here?), and all the canned sweet potato options around me are in a light syrup.  So I just cube and boil instead, and figure if I'm going that far I may as well double it up and get a Shepard's pie out of the mix.

* These are not the exact recipes I follow, as I got mine from the book, but they are close enough.  If you want the EXACT recipe I follow, message me and I'll hook you up!

5. For the Super Bowl, I wanted to participate in the festivities, but didn't want to break my plan yet, so I found this buffalo chicken dip.  I even made my own ranch dressing, using my own fresh herbs from the aerogarden, and the whole thing was so awesome I never felt like I was missing out (plus a dear friend made some compliant ceviche which was super good and helped fill my plate).  I ate mine with celery sticks, which I am shocked to find I actually enjoy eating now.  Whole30 brings out the new tastebuds!

6. Speaking of, I have also found a strange new affinity towards hot sauce (I use Franks RedHot).  As someone who used to shy away from all things even slightly above 'mild', this comes as a huge surprise to me.  And yet right now I can't get enough.  I just finished off my buffalo chicken casserole, made with spaghetti squash.  This was probably my most labor intensive dish (thank god I'd already had the ranch dressing made), but using literally all components I love.  My carrots were a little underdone, but overall I'd definitely make this again.

7. Steak and sweet potato fries.  Mmmmmm.  Just stay compliant with all your seasonings and you're golden.  The coleslaw... I honestly can't even remember what all went in it.  It was a garbage disposal coleslaw, as in we just kept throwing things in and hoping for the best, and it was awesome.

8. I still haven't figured out how to properly eat a stuffed pepper, but it doesn't stop me from making them.  This is another kind of garbage recipe, where you can just dice up whatever veggies you've got to use up and throw them in.  I liked adding in zucchini and finely diced sweet potato (surprise!) left over from my morning eggs.

9. And speaking of eggs, I am of the fortunate group that doesn't easily get sick of them, and they were my morning staple for pretty much the whole thing.  I've mastered the soft and hard boil (bless this book), finally learned how to properly scramble, and of course love a good fried egg.  I try to use fancy-pants eggs as much as possible, but bush living demands me to buy 5 dozen at a time, so that's what I did.  And ate through every single one of them.

10. I also can't stress how EASY it is to *make your own mayonnaise!  That's something I'm never again buying from the store.  I used an immersion blender but recently found out you can use a whisk as well (takes longer but still works!).  I found light tasting olive oil the best, and also heard macadamia nut oil is superb for it, but can't personally vouch for it.

*Again, not my exact recipe, mostly because I learned in action watching and following my fabulously fantastic cousin.

11. Was there ever a more solid side than mashed cauliflower?  There are literally so many recipes for this because it's versatile and pretty much perfect.  Just squeeze all the water out once you steam them and I honestly can't see how you can go wrong.  The one in the book calls for coconut cream which makes it a little sweeter (and very creamy, yum), but I think next time I'm going to give the one on the link a try, because it's making my mouth water right now.


MUST HAVES

Here's a few of the things I can't Whole30 without that aren't in particular with any recipe but good to have on hand if you're going to take on the challenge:

- Walnuts, pecans, almonds... really any nut but peanut.  They're great for protein salads and a midday pick up.

- La Croix - even an avid water drinker wants a little something different, and if you're at a party where everyone's drinking it up it's nice to have something a little special too.  My favorite flavors are Coconut, Mango, and Passionfruit, but I haven't tried them all!!

- Immersion blender - invaluable for mayos and sauces.

- Spiralizer - I don't care what you say (Greg), I love me some zoodles!!  And you can use it with sweet potatoes, carrots, butternut squash... good times!

- a comprehensive set of spices.  I also vouch for splurging on the nicer, organic types.  I can now smell/taste the difference, and ended up tossing a lot of my $1 bulk buys, because I'm worth it, dammit.

- Ghee - another deceptively easy thing to make that opens up a lot more options to you.

- Food processor or blender.  Invest.  It's worth it.

- A blog so I can read about your progress and cheer you on!!!


If you made it this far I am so impressed by you.  And grateful for you!  And if you're getting ready or in the midst of your Whole30 I am so tremendously happy for you!!  And if I somehow played any part in that decision I am incredibly humbled and want to extend a hand and an ear and be there for you the whole way!!!  I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!

I had a scary dream about muffins

And sadly I'm not kidding.  One of the weirdest things that happen when you Whole30 it up is you dream.  About food.  Especially about food you shouldn't eat.  And I don't know if it's the same for other people but in my dreams I'm always keenly aware that I'm on Whole30, and whatever I ate just screwed up my journey, and now I have to start all over again, and I panic and I regret and then...

I wake up.

And take a deep breath and am soooo relieved I didn't actually drink all that wine or eat that muffin or lick the beater after someone made a cake (all real dreams I've had).

So yeah, if you're planning on doing Whole30, maybe keep a dream journal going as well.  It's a trip.

When no one has time for you, make time for yourself

With the sun still down and a number of life events knocking me about a bit, it can be hard to continue to make good choices for myself.  Part of me wants to just give in, let go, ignore the progress I've made and spiral back into the hole I've managed to claw myself part-way out of.  I don't know why my brain takes that route, but it does, and I've succumbed to it more than a few times.  Which is why right now I am so appreciative of Whole30 and its entire setup.  That it's a challenge, and a commitment, and a way to prove to myself that I am actually in control.

I often debate whether or not to include thoughts like this in my blog, or anything 'out to the public', because it's not the image I want people to see.  But I also think it's important for people to understand that even when life's not super great, and things aren't going how you'd hoped, or in fact are just downright shitty, you still have to be in your own corner, even if you're the only one.

That being said, I want to tell you about my Saturday.  Don't worry, sad part's over, this is the good stuff.  Saturday was Family Fun Day at the elementary, put on by Iḷisaġvik College, which included a fun run (in the school hallways), health check stations, massages (yeah Heidi!!), and loads of healthy, natural snacks.  It was so awesome to be a part of something that was so inclusive, even to my very restrictive diet.  Plus I learned a lot about the natural sugars in fruits and veggies, that raw sprouts and carrots with a little olive oil and salt is DIVINE, and my blood sugar level is square in the awesome range.  Hurrah!

We used juice and light to determine the order of most to least sugar content

It was a ton of fun and so good to see families having fun, kids running around snacking on green-topped carrots they got to 'pick', and talking with informative people who were so excited to share their knowledge with us.

Saturday evening was pretty much the opposite, however, with wine and cheesecake and brownies and chips all at the ready.  I managed to navigate around it all, having brought some La Croix and compliant snacks with me, as well as a homemade taco seasoning so I could at least partake in one group eating event.  I think that's really what's hardest about this whole thing, not feeling included, which is why Saturday morning was such a glory.  But I made it through, and didn't even steal a slice of cake to freeze for later.  Go me.

And finally, my garden is growing!  Can't wait for it to be harvestable!!  Looking forward to some fresh chives and basil!!

Finally curly parsley woke up and joined the party

Today I am a Star - a gaseous ball of rage

I think the second week tends to be the toughest.  The newness is wearing off, food fatigue is setting in, and you're struggling with some pretty rough symptoms as your body gets accustomed to digesting and running off of your new meal plan.  It's so so SO worth it, but it still sucks in the meantime.  

Luckily I have had some super delicious foods and awesome friends to help along the way.  My dear friend invited me over to dinner last night and asked what I could eat and couldn't eat, and we ended up with an awesome taco salad sans tortillas or chips and with a homemade taco seasoning for the chicken and salsa and guacamole for dressing.  

I also finished off the last of my leftovers from last week's batch cooking, so it's time to bust out some new eats!  Tonight I invited another friend over to experience a taste of Whole30, and I don't believe she was disappointed.  Dinner was steak with a side of garlic mashed cauliflower, and my house is still smokey from the searing but it was so tasty! 

Trying to show all my tabs and bookmarks

Since I forgot to take a pic of my plate, here's the next best thing

Tomorrow I'll try my hand at Shrimp and Cauliflower Fried Rice, sans the peas and using coconut aminos instead of soy sauce.  It'll probably be my most adventurous meal yet, but I'm excited for it! 

Oh no it got serious...

So some of the problems I face on Whole 30 are surprisingly not related to off-plan cravings or temptations to cheat.  It's the deep-ingrained desire to just eat.  Eat cause you're happy, eat cause you're sad, eat cause you CAN.  Even though my food choices right now are by far the healthiest I've ever made, the fact still remains that eating is still something I struggle with.

That being said, this round, as I try out new recipes, I'd also like to do a lot more introspection.  Go into the psychological aspect of Whole30.  Really change my relationship with food.  This probably means I need to nix the dried fruit and nuts that are my snack crutch, and just focus on eating when I'm truly hungry, and then stopping when I'm truly satiated.

The challenging part will be taking this with me past Whole 30 and into my daily life.  We live in a society obsessed with food and eating.  Nearly every gathering I go to has a spread, people like to go out for dinner, and there's often a pressure, good intentioned as it may be, to indulge.  And for some of us there's a very fine line between what makes life worth living and what makes life hard to live with.  And I'm realizing I'm going to have to tread that line more often than not for the rest of my life if I want to live it to the fullest.

Does this mean I'll never indulge ever again?  Guh, of course not.  It just means I have to be mindful of my indulgence and immediately get back on track.  Which is pretty much what this Whole 30 is all about.

Surprise Snow Day = Food Prep Day!!

After being kept awake all night by howling winds, a shaking house, and a cat that tricked me into feeding him at 1:30 am, I was gifted with the greatest phone call of all - SNOW DAY!

I did the only natural thing to do - chuck off my work pants and slither back into bed.  I still had a bit of a sugar deprivation headache and figured the additional rest would be beneficial.  And I was right.  But I also knew that time is a precious commodity, and after reading for about an hour I got up and cooked.

And cooked.

And then I cooked a bit more.

And now i'm set for a good few days with, you guessed it, salmon cakes (seriously, so good!), semi-soft boiled eggs for a fast breakfast or quick snack, and Egg Roll in a Bowl, which looks a mess but tastes delish:

And even with all this, I'm still excited to plan out and make my next few meals, including playing around with sauce creation to make flavors pop.  I think a big part of what I like about all this is how from scratch everything is.  I thought I would hate it, but it really makes me feel competent and like a hearty peasant girl (but with a food processor and immersion blender).  So resourceful!